STUPID TOUCH SCREENS

WARNING WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS A LATE NIGHT RANT, NOT INTENDED AS A SERIOUS DISCUSSION. I REPEAT IT IS NOT A SERIOUS DISCUSSION. THE FOLLOWING IS A RANT, INTENDED TO BLOW OFF STEAM AND MAYBE MAKE SOME PEOPLE LAUGH. SOME MIGHT FIND IT RUDE OR ANNOYING TO WHICH I SAY Blah Blah Blah, late night blogging is always sure to be interesting. ENJOY

This is outside of what I normally talk about, but I really need to vent about this. The Tablet PC is taking over the world, and I honestly cannot stand it. Ever sense the IPad came out people have been trying to figure out how to make this toy, into something practical, it is a solution in search of a problem. Now they gave us Ipad’s for work, I have to keep on my person, and use it to fill out work orders. This works really well, when you consider I work in the field and have no access to Wifi. This little oversight means I don’t use the Ipad, and that I end up using one of the computers in the shop at the end of the day.  What purposed was served by making me use an Ipad? I now have an expensive paper weight I have to worry about when I am out working. The other guys in the shop tend to use them for watching you tube videos and catching up on the latest sports news, rather than filling out work orders.

Of course I know some hipster with his turtle neck and thick plastic glasses (which look really cheep by the way) is going to go on some diatribe about how the tablet will change the world, its a great tool, the Ipad is great, blah blah blah, the Ipad is nothing more than a toy. A toy that people are trying to find a practical use for, to justify paying the exorbitant price to buy one.

Now that being said, these hipsters who seem to find using pen and paper far to simple a solution, have created a rather large market for these tablets pcs. Suddenly people who were incapable of using a mouse, can just poke what they want, and receive instant gratification. Of course when you are using the machine like it was meant to be used, as a toy, it works perfectly, but when it comes time to do some actual work, its lack of a key board becomes an issue. So keen to jump on the band wagon, Microsoft, the company of practicality jumped into the fray with its Surface Tablet. The first attempt at making a tablet for an adult. It has a kick stand and attachable key board. Seems like the tablet is all grown up, but oh no far from it.

My mom thought that I would just love having one of these new Surface tablets, that it just screamed something that would make my day. So for Christmas, my father and her purchased me a Surface. At first I thought wow this is cool, look a USB port, look a Key Board, but ever sense I received my Surface I have begun to realize the devastation that the Tablet PC and their stupid touch screens have brought to the world.

A tablet allows you to be connected to the internet anywhere you go, all you need is a wireless connection. This means that time that was once dedicated to human interaction has now been relegated to yet more time spent in front of a flickering screen. We have all heard this argument before, too much screen time is bad for you. This constant connectivity is like a siren’s song  to me because I have ADD, and for those of us with ADD the internet is like crack. We crave new information, and absorb it like a sponge, then quickly move onto something else. It was because of this constant quest for knowledge that I realized just how much the Tablet PC and touch screens have changed the world.

The lack of key board is the main issue, it makes inputting large amounts of data into a device tedious. So people find ways to shorten what they are saying, and reduce the number of “key” strokes required. This has led to a change in the way internet searches are done.  It used to be if I searched for the phrase Dog on Bike, the search engine would search for the word Dog, the word On, and the Word Bike. To narrow that search you simply add quotation marks to the phrase, “Dog on Bike”. Then the search engine would look for that exact phrase. Now in this tablet touch screen nonsense world we live in, adding quotes has become tedious, so much so that when you add them to search one of two things now happens. Either A, absolutely nothing changes, or B, the search engine says, “meh, I don’t feel like it” and tells you nothing can be found.  In fact I have search for a sentence on this blog before in quotes and have had search engines say that it doesn’t exists. For the masses, who just want to do a quick search on their i-driod 250 this dumbing down of the search features is sufficient, but for people trying to use the internet for a practical purpose, the vast amount of data available becomes unworkable.

Operating systems are now being developed for tablets and PC’s, the great example of that would be Windows 8, where they decided to make it fun and exciting, and give you tabs and app buttons to use, rather than a pop up menu with the name of the program you need. Now I have to shuffle through the interface and search out the program I need. Now shuffling works great on the touch screen toy, but on a practical machine it is really annoying. But at least everything is fun and happy while I am being ticked off by the stupid hipster designs.

Sunday I was trying to use my Surface to check my email, when all of a sudden the touch screen, out of the clear blue decided that “I don’t feel like being a touch screen today” and stopped working. This was no big deal, I rarely use the stupid thing as a tablet anyways. Preferring instead to treat it like a small, underpowered, nearly useless computer, word processor would probably be more accurate. However, it decided that I had not suffered enough so this morning when my alarm went off, the vial machine decided to have the key board cut out as well, leaving me with no way to turn the darn thing off.

The issue with the screen got me thinking about all the places that hipsters are now trying to put touch screens, because they are cool, and neato, and because buttons are so last century. Say for example, your car. See the turtle neck crowd have decided that cars are no longer transportation, freedom, expressions of independent thought, but rather a disposable appliance, just another place for you to use your tablet. So now they want to replace the buttons in your car, you know the ones that control your heating, ac, and radio, with touch screens. Of course everyone goes “oh cool look at that”, but what happens when it decides to be like my surface and decide it doesn’t want to be a touch screen? How expensive will that be to fix? More importantly what point does it serve?  I guess that federal regulations have so restricted automakers that the only way they can make a car exciting is by turning it into an xbox.

I am all for progress, really I am, I just really really hate touch screens, and stupid tablet pcs. Anymore it just seems like I cannot get away from the cursed things, It is driving me nuts. rant over.

 

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