Winter Weather

I have always wondered why it is that people who live in the mid-west are surprised every year when around the end of October the temperature starts getting colder, and it does not warm up until may.  I have never understood why so many people are caught off guard when this weird white stuff falls from they. They act as though it has never happened before.

They forget how to drive, it is like the concept of traction and stopping distance just disappears from their mind.  The white stuff falls, and all of a sudden the interstate either becomes a race track, or I become stuck behind some chump in a mini-van driving ten miles an hour, down a perfectly clear road.

Every year these same people complain about the bitter cold, surprised that it is possible for temperatures to dip so low.   They forget that the ground might be slippery, and fail to wear appropriate shoes for the weather.  They complain day in and day out about the bone chilling cold.  Every year, this mystical season manages to catch them completely by surprise.


I blame Al Gore, I think that people so believe the global warming hoax that they think that each winter will be the last that they have to deal with. Spring comes and they go, “Al Gore says there is global warming, well that will be the last time I have to worry about the cold”.   I cannot think of any other reason for people to be perpetually surprised by the arrival of winter.

I mean it is not like we change when it is going to happen. A group of people don’t get together and say “Hey, you know what we should do to really mess with those mid-westerners, lets put winter in July this year.” Nope pretty much every year you can be assured that at least form November through March will be cold, and have this weird substance called snow.  You shouldn’t probably plan any pool parties in October or April. There is a good possibility that it will be cold in those months as well.

So this is a public service announcement.

Dear People of The Midwest, winter happens every year. Every year it gets cold and snows.  Please be advised that this does not happen in Florida. It is legal to move south any time you want.  Please if the cold bothers you, or you find yourself being perpetually surprised by winter’s arrival,  please move south.

That is all.


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